Self-Love

The concept of self-love has become more and more popular over the years though many of us have a hard time navigating what that truly means. What does it even mean to love yourself? Most of us were not raised to know what self love even looks like or means. We feel that we need to act, look or be a certain way to get love. We learn that there are so many conditions to receiving love from others that we place so many conditions on giving love to ourselves. We are now needing to teach ourselves what unconditional love really is, we are forging a new path so to speak. I want to share some of the traps that we get into when trying to understand this concept.

Self love traps:

The doing:

The thought that self love is what we do. Taking a bubble bath, getting a massage, taking yourself out to dinner etc. that is what self love is.

The thinking:

The thought that self love is what we think about ourselves. Mindset shifts. Just think positive. If you repeat the affirmations "I am enough", "I love myself" etc. enough times, that is what self love is. 

The feeling: 

The thought that self love is a feeling. Looking outside of you for something that will make you feel happy, that will make you feel loved, that will make you feel secure. If I feel loved, then that means I am loved. 

What self love truly is:

Love is not something you do, something you think or something you feel. Love is a state of being. Love comes from within. When you come from the state of love, the energetic frequency of love, you will naturally think, feel and do things that are a reflection of that. 

At our core we are pure unconditional love. That is the truth of who we are. 

You may ask.. "Then why is everyone not loving all the time? Why do I feel like I do not love myself all the time?"

This is because growing up we have acquired beliefs and unprocessed emotions and wounds that say otherwise, that are literally blocking us from seeing the truth. There are parts of us that do not believe you when you say "I am enough". There are parts of you that want more than you getting a massage or trying to stay positive. True love is not just showing up for yourself when things are good and happy. True love is showing up for every single aspect of you, the “good”, the “bad and the “ugly”.

Which leads me to the question.... how do we become love for ourselves?

This begins by acknowledging and being a presence for the parts of you that do not believe you deserve love. When you connect to your heart and see, validate and bring love to these parts of you, they heal. When these parts of you heal, you become more of who you truly are. You become more love.

With love,

Madison